Put Down the Phone

It still amazes me at times how fallen I am.  I can desire to be good and holy, to have a balance of work and rest, diligence and ease.  And yet, over and over I have to reassess where I am with that little handheld computer we call a "phone" these days.  Even when I am doing "good" things on that device, those good things can distract me from how I want to show up.  

In a given day on my phone I will:

- Check the weather

- Read the daily readings, used for meditation

- Watch a spiritual video or two

- Pray along with a rosary or chaplet video

- Listen to and chat back with my friends via Marco Polo, all women striving to also live their vocations well 

- Listen to an audio book, either one that is meant to deepen my understanding of an area of interest (homeschool, minimalism, IF, or marriage) or good, classic fiction

- Listen to an uplifting, educational podcast on the same topics mentioned above 

- Record a video and respond to comment

These are all "rightly ordered" recreational activities.  So what's the problem? The problem is that without boundaries, these activities can fill every quiet moment of my day.  Instead of simply taking a walk, it's a "productive" walk.  I listen to music while cooking.  A podcast while getting ready in the morning.  I am providing constant input.  My brain loves it.  Until it doesn't ...

I hit a wall without being quite aware what went wrong.  Too much stimulation.  Information overload.  When my day lacks true quiet, true stillness, true re-creation, the stress and spiraling begin, leading to worry and future-oriented thinking.  

The other downside is more concrete.  I asked myself last night: "How do I want my kids to remember me?" The answer: "present." It's really important to me that I am able to stop and listen when they need me.  Not that annoyed, I'm-in-the-middle-of-something stopping that is impatient and just barely tolerating.  But truly present.  That presence that tells the child, or husband, that he or she is the most important person to me in that moment.  It's a selfless presence that allows the other person to be present as well.  

Through prayer I've discerned the answer: boundaries.  It doesn't matter how many times I've tried and failed.  With a growth mindset, I can try again.  So I'll sit in the quiet with God, talk about my day, about the books and podcasts I want to engage with, and together we will come up with a plan, assessing the pockets of time where that activity would be appropriate.  

Possible slots of time include: 

- On a solo walk (after asking if family wants to come along, because the default is community)

- In the bath

- During quiet, solo chores IF I've already taken some true rest first.  I don't "have" to listen to a podcast to fold the laundry, though it's a lovely way to add self-care to the task. 

- While my kids are outside and my husband is at work or otherwise occupied

- In the car

- During grocery shopping 

There are still ways to fit in these pleasurable and truly good activities.  But all-day earbuds are not the answer.  

I'm curious if you struggle with this kind of balance as well.  Sometimes silence, just sitting, just being is uncomfortable.  No-phone days are always a learning experience.  But setting these kind of boundaries blesses not only those who love us and want our attention but ourselves as well.  We are all meant to become interior beings who spend time in our interior castle with Christ.  But it requires putting our pacifiers away and being mature enough to say "yes" to Him.  I mean, we owe Him everything.  It's a small sacrifice. 

Pax Christi,

Laura